Planning

Few days ago, I read my old diary that I wrote before I obtained my SPM result, I wrote that I wanted to pursue my studies in forensic scientist hahaha tinggi betul cita² I ye. I think that was because I watched a lot of CSI and Law&Order : SVU series masa sekolah. Sebab tu la kot nak sangat belajar forensic tapi tak mudah ye rakan². Masa apply UPU pun I tak fikir dah pasal forensic sebab basically I serahkan dekat my mom je untuk isi course pilihan sebab bila dapat results SPM macam putus harapan sikit laa since subject Chemistry I dapat D. So macam entah laa malas fikir hahaha. 

Tiba² dapat offer Diploma in Science so I gladly accept the offer and teruskanlah belajar. Masa second year Diploma tiba tiba macam buntu gila tak tahu nak teruskan dalam bidang apa unutk degree sebab general sangat course tu. Macam² fikir sampai la I buat keputusan nak sambung Dentistry. Wow tinggi ye impian I heheh. Tapi tu cuma impian yang jadi angan² sebab CGPA tak capai 3.75 so bye bye Dentistry. 

Habis Diploma I macam nak rest setahun sebab ingat nak kerja dulu before sambung degree lagipun tak tahu jugak okay nak ambik course apa. I honestly tak ada langsung macam dream job tau sebab tu laa macam susah nak decide nak ambik course apa. Masa final year Diploma boleh apply untuk masuk penerapan Degree. Kira habis Diploma terus serap masuk Degree under UiTM so boleh save lots of time la. Masa tu tak nak apply sebab choices of course tak banyak. I nak optometry sebenarnya (walaupun tak yakin) sebab tu la I have to wait a year before apply, kalau apply penerapan sikit jela pilihan and mostly general. Tapi I'm glad I apply jugak sebab I takut menyesal tak apply so apply jela Bachelor in Biology (Hons) walaupun tak berharap. I apply memang semata mata takut menyesal. So I was like dapat ke tak dapat nantik baru fikir nak teruskan ke tak. Tetibe I dapat! Terus macam nak accept ke tak nak ehh sebab Diploma dah ambik course yang general so kalau boleh nak yang specific la untuk Degree. Tapi Alhamdulillah I made a very wise decision to accept the offer because overall, Jengka offers the best experience in my University life ever!

Okay lepastu, masa final year degree pulak berbelah bahagi nak apply Master ke tak. Part of me nak kerja dulu sebab degree sangat² penat dan stress so kalau boleh nak rehat dulu before sambung or nak cari kerja dulu sebab rasa macam Abah dah habiskan banyak duit dekat I sorang huhu. Another pasrt of me nak terus sambung because I find joy in studying. I suka gila study to the point I tak nak langsung kerja sebab study lagi best. But the same dilemma I'm having during Diploma kept appearing so applied for Master in Environmental Health and Safety in UiTM walaupun I sorang apply course tu and its coursework and 4 of my friend semua applied Master in Applied Biology which is mix mode. I dah tak nak ambik general course and honestly nak research instead of coursework tapi nak apply yang macam kawan² I tu tak minat pulak walaupun better than courework. Masa apply I tak berharap pun cuma tu la dilemma, kalau tak apply menyesal so apply jugak nanti fikir bila result dah keluar. Kalau nak apply another univ kena tunggu a year. So in between boleh kerja so apply memain jela yang UiTM tu sebab memang kalau boleh nak try Univ lain pulak.

Okayy part nak sambung master ni panjang sikit sebab before result keluar I decided not to continue so I did a job hunting. Macam² kerja I apply sebab dah nekad nak cari duit masatu. I even went for a job interview but sadly tak dapat. But that's okay try lagi apply macam². I rasa macam okay laa, nanti nak sambung master boleh guna duit sendiri tak yah susahkan Abah dah. After sometime I tak dapat langsung offer kerja I rasa macam okay la sambung je la study daripada takde kerja lagi. I kept on berbolak balik dengan decision sendiri, sampai la satu tahap tu I rasa macam okay I've decided to accept the offer from UiTM. So I cakap laa dengan my parents nak sambung study tak nak kerja lagi, tapi my parents macam, okay up to you it's your decision.Until a week before registration I cakap lagi dengan my parents, lagi seminggu ni nak daftar UiTM, but again diorang macam take it lightly pastu I macam stress gila. I buntu sebab lagi seminggu tapi I tak prepare anything and I had to pay around RM3k for registration fee tapi of course la mengharap duit parents je sebab I takde duit. Lepastu 3 days left, I cakap lagi dekat my mom, 'Lagi 3 hari ni nak daftar tapi kena bayar yuran la before daftar or on the day' Tapi my mom respond macam, 'ikut laa sambung jelaa okay je tak nak kerja lagi'. So macam dah give up lah sebab dengar Ma cakap gitu hahaha. Tapi nak sangat masuk belajar sebab dah nekad kan tak nak kerja lagi. Pastu whatever jela malas dah nak fikir. So sedih la sikit sampai menangis hahaha. Suddenly a day before registration a staff from UiTM call to inform dekat mana nak register, procedure macam mana and all that. I was like ni jawapan istakarah aku ke? Aku kena daftar jugak ke walaupun tak prepare anything. Then, I told my mom about the call. Pastu Ma bagitahu Abah, and they were like, okay pergi la nak masuk UiTM, ada sebab la tu staff call suruh register and all. I masatu macam 50/50 tau, sebab esok dah nak register jadi takde mood sebab last minute. Pastu I cakap jelaa, 'takpela, malas dah la. Nak bayar yuran pun takde duit, barang apa tak prepare, medical check up pun tak buat'. At that time was around 9AM kot on Friday, then my mom cakap, 'takyah fikir la pasal duit nanti pandai² la Abah cari, kalau nak jom bersiap pergi Kuantan buat med check up'. Sebab nak buat kat Ganu of course la semua klinik tutup hari Jumaat kan, Again, I jadi 50/50 walaupun nak sangat² sambung masa tu. Then I cakap jap nak mandi and fikir dulu. Pastu I masuk bilik, tak mandi pun lagi hahha after 10 minutes macam tu I terus decide, takpela tak nak. I was all because dah sangat last minute so I malas nak serabut. So that day passed by dengan I menangis jelaa hahahah. Then, esok on the day of registration, around 10AM I received a call from a lecturer of faculty yang  I apply!! I macam, apa niii? She told me to come for the registration tapi I macam, 'haa okay okay saya datang' sebab still mamai baru bangun since she called. Hahaha padahal I'm still in Terengganu so memang tak pergi dah la kan. Pastu sebab I dah bangun terus pergi dapur breakfast and  kebetulan dua² ada so I told them, 'semalam staff yang call suruh register, harini lecturer sendiri yang call hahahaha'. Pastu kann, Abah tetibe je, 'Haa dah tu nak ke tak nak? Leturer call tu suruh daftar jugak la tu' Terus I macam, ni ke jawapan istikarah akuuu. Penat laa fikir tapi I know macam melepas jela sebab yelaa haritu jugak kena daftar kan hahah. Pastu Ma cakap, okay kalau nak masuk UiTM cepat laa packing mana yang sempat, kita bersiap peri Shah Alam, nanti tumpang rumah sesiapa for a few days baru cari rumah sewa, pastu buat surat terus untuk tangguh medical check up. Sempat lagi nak daftar ni before 6. Kepala otak I ni lagi laa ligat gila berfikir sebab macam everything was a sign for me tapi it was very last minute. After some time I cakap takpela, its too last minute I don't want to be serabut or regret my last minute decision so I decided not go. Bye bye UiTM, jodoh kita sampai Degree je huhu.

But Wallahi, Alhamdulillah I made the best decision of not going because on January Aina ada share dekat whatsapp group about a postgraduate opportunity in IIUM Kuantan  pastu I macam okay I should go, sebab dekat and ada allowance. That's all. I rasa macam its a very great opportunity. I  told my parents about that and they were like, okay la tuu apply jela kalau nak sambung belajar. So I fikir² balik, I pun apply jelaa sebab nak try kalau dapat Alhamdulillah rezeki, kalau tak dapat takpe I'm going to cotinue cari kerja jela. Suddenly I received a call and was chosen as one of the student tapi before decide anything lecturer/supervisor nak jumpa dulu to explain everything. So I macam okayy, boleh je sebab dekat je and I'm free boleh pergi anytime. So on 17th January I went with Alia. Me and Alia are from the same batch in Jengka tapi tak rapat mana sebab lain kelas hahaha. After hearing the explanation I macam, okay laa I want this sebab Dr Huda tu ada cakap, dia nak buka for foreigner but the grant can't be given to foreigner, so she open to Malaysian and only me and Alia applied, she also said macam rezeki kitorang laa sebab she plan macam lain but lain jadi. And at first dia nak ambik lelaki, but no guy apply and since there's 2 girls she take both. Alhamdullila this was the best thing that ever happen to me. So this upcoming mid February I akan start my postgrad studies. Alhamdulillah ada hikmah atas apa yang jadi masa nak register UiTM sebab who knows I can get a better opportunity like this kan. Masa final year degree I always doa nak sambung Master in research. Alhamdulillah now I dapat research siap ada allowance lagi. Kalau I pergi UiTM haritu dah laa courework je lepastu mesti lagi banyak susahkan Abah sebab dekat Shah Alam kan cost of living mahal lepastu takde allowance. Alhamdulillah I can't wait to start studying again. May Allah ease my journey in completing my Master in Science. InshaAllah.