Marriage.

Eversince I'm in highschool, I have always wanted to get married early. Honestly I also don't understand why. But it was probably because my parents had an early marriage pastu rasa macam seronok okay umur tak sampai 50 lagi tapi anak² dah besar, dah graduate, dah ada kerja. Macam seronok kan. My mom got married when she was only 19 and dad was 23 and after a year Along was born. I pernah berhasrat nak kahwin after I graduate Diploma, I was only 21 tapi memang nak sangat² kahwin awal walaupun masatu boyfriend pun entah apa² ahahaha I pun takde apa² okay tapi entah dia macam bukan gatal nak kahwin tapi more to nak halal cepat² la supaya I boleh elak benda yang tak sepatutnya. 

Early marriage has always been a dream to me. But now, I'm 24 this year I'm kinda glad I didn't get married early huhu. I just wanted to enjoy my life and live as a daughter to my parents. I'm glad I tak kahwin awal no matter how bad I wanted to settle down early. Bila fikir² balik rasa macam tak relevant laa kahwin awal sekarang. But it is actually up to individual laa, kalau dah jodoh kahwin jela buat apa lambat lambat kan. As for my case, boyfriend pun tak ada so how I nak kahwin kan 😂

As for now, I just wanted to focus on my studies, build a carrier, give back to my parents and my family lepastu baru kumpul duit untuk kahwin ahhaha. Daripada nak settle down cepat² terus ubah fikiran nak settle down bila dah stable. Sebab apa? Sebab Tia dah matang hahahaha. Tapi I honestly taknak laa lambat² kalau boleh by the time I 26 or 27 I dah kahwin laa inshaAllah. Doa doa kan lah ye. Kalau boleh I nak ada anak cepat² lepas kahwin sebab kalau dah kahwin lambat taknak la tangguh untuk ada anak pulak kan. 

So now I think I really need to find someone to be my boyfriend at least at the end of this year sebab I kalau boleh nak kenal someone tu lama before I decided to marry him. Tapi entah laa I pun tak tahu siapa jodoh I, I pun tak tahu I dah pernah jumpa dengan dia ke tak selama ni. I had no clue at all. So I berserah jelaa. Hari² doa mintak dekat Allah macam², nak suami macam tu, macam ni, in-laws yang macam tu, macam ni tapi tak pernah berharap sesiapa pun jadi suami I. Sebab I pernah baca tau kalau macam kita doa nak kahwin dengan someone specific, hari² sebut nama nak kahwin dengan dia. Tapi boleh jadi dia tu tak baik untuk kita tapi Allah kabulkan doa tu takut jodoh tak kekal lama. Wallahualam, mintak jauh la benda² macam tu. I always hoped for the best so kalau doa pasal jodoh, suami dan anak² I always mention the characteristics that I want. May Allah ease everything 💓